Monday, August 19, 2013

Take 2 Days off!

What a DUMB way to diet.

Here is my confession - and I really wasn't too bad. I didn't eat until I was full at any time, and only ate a couple of the small snacks when I wasn't actually hungry.

Over the last two days I ate:
7-8 Dunkin Donuts
1.25 pieces of French toast - with Syrup
Orange Chicken, Beijing Beef, Sweet Fire Chicken, 1/2 steamed rice, 1/2 chow mien, 2 cheese rangoons and a chicken egg roll at Panda Express
7-8 Oreos
2 Nacho Cheese Doritos
5-6 Cracked Black Pepper and Olive Oil Tricuits
A massive grilled cheese sandwich (with green chilies, of course)
A small bowl of tomato soup
A plate of spaghetti and meatballs (about 1/2 - 2/3 of my normal size)
1 square of a Cadbury Bar
3 small cinnamon rolls

(I think that's it)

I drank:
about 3 liters of Pepsi and Cherry Coke (combined)
about 1.5 quarts of Vitamin D milk

I even skipped eating anything at Sonic when we took everyone to get half price shakes.

The result:
10 freakin' pounds!!!

DUMB, DUMB, DUMB

Monday, August 12, 2013

Bring it on!

I gave everyone a SMALL taste of my skills for the Week 7, the second to last weigh-in. You think 7 lbs is pretty good?  OH BABY! You don't even know what week 8 might bring.

(Taunting Bryce and Steven - what a dumb way to diet! Especially if I don't do too good this week.)

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Biggest Loser and Littlest Loser (week 6)

And the Biggest Loser for week 6 is... CRYSTAL! 

She wanted a taste of the glory... and she got it! Crystal is climbing the ranks, narrowing the gap between the men and women with her weigh-in win of 2.04% weight loss! Well done, young one. Those boys had better watch out! Maybe her plan all along was to have the $100 prize to the Biggest Female Loser deal come into play before she kicked it into gear and pulled ahead!

And the Littlest Loser for week 6 is... CAMILLE. :(
Camille had an unfortunate gain of .25%, and while that's not as bad as last week, it's still not as good as it could be! If you see Camille at all this week, give her some words of encouragement! Maybe like "Camille's number one. Her muscles are number one. Her eyes are number one" (etc., etc.). Her weekly punishment (chosen by Nikki) is this: Camille must eat something within 15 minutes of waking up in the morning, and must not eat anything after 7:00pm. Failing results in a 2 mile consequence (per offense), to be completed within 24 hours. DEAL WITH IT! 

I'm at work and don't wanna get caught, so I gotta go. But good luck all!
Good luck during week 6! Only SEVENTEEN DAYS remain!

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Biggest Loser and Littlest Loser (week 5)

And the Biggest Loser for week 5 is... STEVE! 

Steve comes in with another win this week, this time with 2.02% weight loss! Well done. Word on the street is your top secret technique doesn't even involve exercise!

And the Littlest Loser for week 5 is... NIKKI. :(
I spoke too soon last week, as we had not one, but TWO losers gain. Nikki topped the scale with a gain of 1.20%, leading to a weekly punishment of Cheryl's choosing (which turns out to be sending a new self-affirmation to the group daily via text, with Steven as her chosen Buddy).

We had numbers all over the place this weigh in... some pretty high, some pretty low and some the same as last week. Let's kick it into gear this week and see some strong losses across the board. You can do it!
Good luck during week 6! Only SEVENTEEN DAYS remain!

Sunday, July 21, 2013

did you know...

...that our group lost 19.7 pounds (1.34%) during week 4 and has lost a whopping 89 pounds (5.77%) since we started four weeks ago?? That's terrific! That's, like, two or maybe three small children!

Camille mentioned to me that if we match our progress in the weeks to come, we will have an average body weight percentage loss of about 10%! And 10% seems to be the magical number of turning health around. It represents big improvements! So give yourself a pat on the back-- you are changing your life and the lives of the people you love. Keep it up!

Biggest Loser and Littlest Loser (week 4)

And the Biggest Loser for week 4 is... NIKKI! 

There must be some secret ingredients in those gnats and boogers Nikki was eating, because she topped this week off with a 2.46% weight loss for week 4! I think we can all agree she's got made some interesting additions to her diet, but I can't quite figure out how Red Robin, Iceberg and Zupa's fit into the weight loss thing... Only her rumbling tummy knows.

And the Littlest Loser for week 4 is... CHERYL. :(
Cheryl clocked in last place this week with a .82% loss, so despite the fact that she had a healthy amount of weight loss this week, Cheryl's still facing a weekly punishment of Camille's choosing.

I would like to point out that this week's Littlest Loser percentage is the highest we've had so far! What's more is that not a single competitor has had a net gain at any weigh in for dumb ways to die(t)! That's awesome! As a matter of fact, it's beginning to look like the weekly consequences of being Littlest Loser are less like punishments (like you would expect for gaining weight) and more like boosts (a little something to help you lose even more weight than you're already losing)!

So... the average Littlest Loser percentage of weight loss is increasing, and ridiculously large losses seem like they might be fading out... this means that everyone's percentages may begin leveling out. If you're at a low overall standing, take heart! There's still a chance to win-- you've just got to hang in there, stay consistent, but at the same time push yourself where you can without pushing yourself so far that you relapse. Slow and steady wins the race, but it never hurts to run faster if you can without collapsing. 

Although we have set this up as a competition, we are all here to support each other and WE ARE ALL MAKING GREAT PROGRESS. Well done, team. Keep up the good work!

And good luck during week 5!

Since I'm not sure the weekly prizes are worth it ...

Since I haven't seen my weekly prize, I decided not to lose very much this week.
At least that's my excuse.
Dieting only to win prizes, what a dumb way to diet!

Thursday, July 18, 2013

dumb ways to die(t) #16


#16 Match calories burnt with treats.

After the rain cut my run short, I had to sport treadmill.  I burnt an incredible 914 total calories.. Now I just have to decide what 1,000 calorie treat to give myself today.

Dumb way to diet.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

dumb ways to die(t) #15

#15 Go on a diet... specifically a very restrictive, particular diet... then blow your diet just because you're at a fancy movie theater.

What a dumb way to diet. In the words of Crystal, this is how it went down: 
"So, I'm here at the fancy movie theater with viciously priced snacks with my dieting friend. Yes, she is dieting too. Atkins, I might add. The server comes around to ask if we want anything. I, trying to be loyal, say no thanks. Friend, however, asks for a Diet Coke. I think 'Good for her; she chose something diet.' Two seconds later... 'and Reese's Pieces.' What a dumb way to diet."

Don't let this same thing happen to you!
(dumb way to die(t) courtesy of Crystal and her dumb-dieter friend)  

Biggest Loser and Littlest Loser (weeks 2 & 3)

And the Biggest Loser for weeks 2-3 is... STEVE! 

Steve came into last place after week 1, but surprised us all with a killer win this week! Steve shattered the former record [set by Steven after week 1 of dumb ways to die(t)] of 4.11% with an amazing 4.69% weight loss for weeks 2-3 (note it was over two weeks, not one... they hold separate records)! CLEARLY Richard Simmons has some secrets he shared with Steve during their three workouts together. Maybe we can expect a sneak-attack win from his buddy, Cheryl, at our next weigh-in?? Only time will tell. Congratulations, Steve! And be sure to see Camille to collect your prize.

And the Littlest Loser for weeks 2-3 is... CAMILLE. :(
Camille rolled into last with a .72% loss, which was at least up from the first week's last place loss (.66%)! But now she has to deal with the consequences of her loss, and as you all have noticed that entails texting the entire BL group everything she eats all week. She chose Nikki as her buddy, so you've all obviously been hearing from her, too. 

As for everybody else, well done! We've made it through week 3, and (since I updated so late) only 31 days remain! If you feel like you haven't quite been giving it your all because you're discouraged by other players' large losses, or you plan on going 300% last minute to enact a ninja-style takeover, or you have some other reason for not giving it your all, KNOCK IT OFF. That's a dumb way to die(t) and the time to give 110% is now (that means you, last place Loser).

Good luck, everybody!

Sunday, July 14, 2013

You fell for my dumb plot!!!

I sabotaged my first week to get the "punishment" of doing "Sweatin' to the Oldies." in reality it was my secret plan to excel at the second weigh-in and deprive the rest of you of the glory! Whether I win this week or not, I still had a great weigh-in - Thanks to Richard Simmons.

What a dumb way to diet!

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Mid-week Motivator!

This is a trailer for a documentary called "Hungry for Change." It's a documentary that I think everyone should watch. It's on Netflix, so you all either have access to it or have access to the Hengen house, which has access to it. No excuses. I watched it last night instead of going to bed on time, and it gave me a lot to think about. I know we have a few hard-headed people in our family, but try to watch it with an eternal perspective and a humble, teachable mindset instead of a defensive one.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

dumb ways to die(t) #14

#14 Go on a well-deserved week-long hiatus after two grueling weeks of dieting.

What a dumb way to diet. But... we all did just that. DON'T LET THAT WEEK-LONG HIATUS TURN INTO A TWO WEEK LONG ONE! True, there was no weigh in on Sunday. However, there IS a weigh in this coming Sunday, so you have only five days to get rid of all that extra weight and then some... otherwise you'll end up the Littlest Loser, and have to suffer through the Weekly Punishment of 
Running, jogging, walking, rolling or crawling TEN MILES before the 7/21 weigh in. (If you do end up losing this week and you want to substitute biking or another physical activity, a distance conversion may be required. Check in with Dale for official word.)

So throw out the cookies and lace up your sneakers! You have a competition to win!

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

dumb way to diet #13

Missionaries can't be fed taco salad without yogurt, right?  Well, may as well sport regular ice cream.  And Shell.  And strawberries.  Wait, if the missionaries do, you should too!  Wait, may as well sport a HUGE bowl all by yourself after they leave!!  Note:  not as many calories as it looks (according to the loser).  BTW, it's not mine.  What a dumb way to diet.

Monday, July 1, 2013

weeks 2&3

Due to some crazy schedules, there will be no weigh-in this week. Instead, we will be weighing in on July 14th (that's in two Sundays). Don't let this throw you! I'm expecting to see some big losses!

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Biggest Loser and Littlest Loser (week 1)

And the Biggest Loser for week 1 is... STEVEN! 

Steven reported a killer (and I believe record-setting) 4.11% weight loss for week 1! My first reaction to the news was one word: whoa. Congratulations, Steven! All the hard workouts and starvation have paid off. Be sure to see Camille to collect your prize!

And the Littlest Loser for week 1 is... STEVE. :(
After his post the other day, it's still sad (but not too surprising) to see him come in last this week. What is surprising is that he managed to lose .66%, despite his crazy and kind of awful week/weekend. Way to not gain! Now that you're home, though, it's time to break out the workout clothes and get working on those three Richard Simmons workouts. Don't forget to announce which fellow dieter you choose to suffer alongside you! (Just a reminder that, as this week's Biggest Loser, Steven is off limits as a Buddy choice.)

As for everybody else, well done! We've made it through week 1, and today we get to start all over again. Learn from last week's trials and mistakes, and try to choose at least one specific way in which you are going to step up your game. Steven has a strong lead, but he's not out of reach!

Good luck, everybody!

Saturday, June 29, 2013

I smell cookies

what the heck?

I woke up Friday morning, put on my stretchhy pants and went down-estairs to have a drink before hitting the pavement..  When suddenly..  *sniff sniff*  I smell cookies.

To the trash with these infernal baked goods!!!!

dumb ways to die(t) #12

#12 Once a month, use the excuse that you're a woman to eat whatever you want, whenever you want, for however long you want to eat it.


What a dumb way to diet. You've been making excuses for years. It's time to stop making excuses for why you should be able to eat whatever you want, why you shouldn't have to exercise, and why you don't need to change. It's time to start embracing the reasons why you should control what you eat, why you should keep your body in shape, and why you deserve to be healthy and happy.

If at first you're having trouble thinking you're worth it, "You only have to remember that what you're doing in your life may change what someone else is doing in their life." For better or for worse. So whose life will you change? And will it be for better or for worse? You never really know who's watching you or how they're letting your decisions affect theirs. If you can't do it for you, do it for someone else until you can do it for you. Because you are worth it. And so are the people you love.

dumb ways to die(t) #11

#11 Eat well and exercise for FIVE WHOLE DAYS, and reward yourself by trying on those clothes that were too tight last week... just to find that they're still too tight.

Expecting immediate and dramatic results? What a dumb way to diet. It took time for you to get as fatty as you are... it didn't happen over the course of a single week, much less over the course of five days. So how could it be reversed that quickly? Dieting can't be a temporary, fast, and dramatic solution or it's not likely to stick. Just as your consistent, dedicated lifestyle of careless gorging slowly added chins to your face and inches to your waist, so will a consistent, dedicated lifestyle of conscious and wise diet and exercise whip those many chins into one and dissolve those inches off your overcrowded waistline... and keep it that way! But it takes time. And consistency. And dedication. Expecting immediate and dramatic results and attempting to measure them will not help with this lifestyle change.
Instead, measure other, more predictive ways that you're really changing. Here are a few examples of smarter changes to keep an eye out for:

-I recognize when I'm actually hungry (as opposed to simply bored, thirsty, or suffering from a craving attack related to my sugar addiction).
-I have more energy.
-I feel more confident about myself.
-I crave sweet things less than I used to, and less-sweet things can satisify those cravings (for example, grapes are sooooo sweet... why would I ever need to eat an entire pack of Oreos?).
-Choosing healthful snacks and meals is becoming a habit for me, as opposed to an internal struggle equivalent to putting Edyn and Alta to bed.
-I'm excited to try new healthful foods or recipes, or to learn more about health, nutrition, and exercise, and I love the activities I choose to do for exercise (or I love finding new, fun things to do for exercise).

Notice how these more telling changes have more to do with your mindset than the way your body looks? Interesting...


(dumb way to die(t) courtesy of Camille) 

dumb ways to die(t) #10

#10 Protein up, gear up, hop on your mountain bike and RIDE!!!... all the way to the Beer, Candies & More store... where you gorge up, stock up, and take the bus home.


Wasting the benefits of a hard workout on extra snacks? What a dumb way to diet. With a store front as awesome and enticing as this one's, there are only two possibilities for how this really went down. 1: Bryce dieted the dumb way, and went inside the store to stock up on goods while he waited for the bus. 2: Bryce biked all the way across town to see this epic, historic monument to humanity-- an experience that changed his life and shaped his view of the future. 
Which brings us to our tip. Have a really great reason to do that hard workout you've just worked up the motivation to do, and then be sure not to blow the results on breaking even. Don't think "since I just biked a million miles, I should be able to eat that extra donut I've been wanting all week!" Instead, think "since I just biked a million miles, and if I still manage to stay in my calorie range for the day, I'll probably have lost as much weight as that 2 pound donut I've been wanting to eat all week! Right on!" and crunch into an apple instead!

(dumb way to die(t) kind of courtesy of Bryce, but he didn't really do anything dumb)  

Friday, June 28, 2013

I'll have to look up some references ...

I heard the other day they there are new studies turning everything on it's head again. They are now saying that 6 small meals a day is NOT the way to go if you are dieting, but instead you should eat only 2 meals a day and (as I recall) they should be front loaded - as in breakfast and lunch. No eating after 2PM or something like that.  This was really recent. Anyone else come across this?

Anyway ... As some of you know I'm stranded in a tiny little town in Arizona right now. Dieting is the last thing on my mind (actually since it was my last week in the communist paradise of California, and I spent all my time packing and eating what was left in my fridge - I haven't started at all). So, after having Chicken Fried Steak for dinner - here is my dessert:


Along with 2 Pepsis and 2 Dr. Peppers. What a dumb way to diet!

I'm having a Season 7 of Criminal Minds marathon and blogging about my experience right now, so if you are interested check out my blog for the latest (Give me time to finish)!

dumb ways to die(t) #8

#8 When your heaping plate of veggies starts to taste less delish (you know... as you get full), add salt or other condiments until you are left with a mushroom- and zucchini-flavored salt lick. See the next day that you've gained a pound, and wonder why.

What a dumb way to diet. Dr. Bruce testifies that there's no such thing as too much salt. Within reason, that's kind of true. Anything in excess could kill you (even vegetables), but salt consumed in reasonable quantities (like just adding a pinch of salt to everything you eat) isn't going to kill you in a day, or even a week. However, it might affect your blood pressure. And more importantly, too much sodium can cause your body to retain water... which means you weigh in higher the next day. To avoid this, either add a little less salt to your food, or drink enough water that your body can get rid of the extra salt (that's why your body retains water when you eat too much salt in the first place-- it holds back water you take in until the salt-to-water ratio is balanced enough to get rid of the extra salt).

(dumb way to die(t) courtesy of Camille)

dumb ways to die(t) #7

#7 Prove to yourself how strong you are by buying a friend a sugary treat that's not on your diet. But then... only give her half of it...


Tempting yourself unnecessarily? What a dumb way to diet. If you think you're strong enough to tempt your self control and come out on top, think again. After all, you ARE doing yet another Biggest Loser competition. Let's face it-- that means you have no self control. Tempting yourself unnecessarily can also include eating overly-sugary treats at all. Yes, eating only one Oreo may keep you in your calorie range, but it's not going to fill your stomach, and it's only going to make you want to eat just one more... until the entire sleeve is gone. Think about it this way: a single Oreo has about 80 calories in it. That's the equivalent of a very large apple or most of a banana. You can eat 12 Oreos no problem... but can you sit and eat 12 apples or bananas? Doubtful. If you get that insatiable craving for a sugary, crunchy then soft then crunchy Oreo, just sit and eat apples until your sick of sugar and your stomach is so full you couldn't cram in another bite without barfing, even if it were a bite of Oreo. I guarantee you'll still have consumed fewer calories than if you'd given in to "just one" Oreo. 

(dumb way to die(t) courtesy of Camille) 

dumb ways to die(t) #6

#6 Gorge on 600 calories of fish for dinner. Or, better yet, 1200 calories of fish for dinner!


Throwing all/most your calories into one meal? What a dumb way to diet. Maybe you read dumb ways to die(t) #5, that highly recommends you eat at least 1200 calories a day (thanks, Nikki, for that helpful post!). Yes, 1200 calories a day is good. But cramming it (or most of it) into one meal, or even into a small part of the day is not the most effective way to lose weight. Try rationing your calories throughout the day, instead! That way, your metabolism is given a boost every couple of hours, your body doesn't feel like it's being forgotten or neglected, and your stomach doesn't feel like it's starving to death (causing you to binge later in the day). 

(dumb way to die(t) courtesy of Camille) 

dumb ways to die(t) examples and tips

Originally the plan was to post one dumb way to die(t) per day, but it seems that there are just too many dumb ways to die(t) to place that kind of limit on awesome posts! So, we're just going to have at it as they come. Feel free to post your own dumb ways to die(t) or to send them to me (Dale Whale) and I'll get them up as soon as I have time.

dumb ways to die(t) #5

#5 Go running for forty minutes... but make sure that all you've eaten by 4:30 is six strawberries. That way, your body goes into starvation mode and begins eating itself, causing you to lose weight rapidly. 

What a dumb way to diet. Experts and generally sane people agree: your body should consume no fewer than 1200 calories a day. Eating too few calories can send your body into starvation mode, which doesn't actually end up in your body eating itself away... at first. It begins with your body making the very most of the few calories it IS gifted with... by storing them away. If your body is getting sufficient food and water, it can use them in the way God intended, which is the most helpful and productive way-- even when dieting. You just need to give your body the right kind of food, as well as the right amount for what you're trying to achieve (i.e. weight loss).




(post inspired by the dieting techniques of a fellow dumb ways to die(t)er)

Thursday, June 27, 2013

is anyone else dying yet?

I feel like we've been dieting for ages already, and I'm overly anxious to see results that just don't seem to be coming. I feel like four days that have felt like four months should yield more results than they have so far... (aka none but a growling stomach).

dumb ways to die(t) #4


#4 Go to a church activity to do Zumba, assuming there will be no snacks... when, in fact, they are serving brownies.

Zumba and brownies? What a dumb way to diet. To avoid finding yourself in this predicament, try hosting your own group workouts, or at least shame whoever brought the brownies into bringing fresh fruit next time instead.

(dumb way to die(t) courtesy of Crystal)

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

dumb ways to die(t) #3


#3 Take a Jolly Rancher to the gym with you, and do the stairmaster for as long as it takes to eat it. But then get on the stairmaster and think "If I don't eat it at all, I don't have to exercise!" Leave the Rancher and walk away quickly. But not too quickly, lest you find yourself exercising inadvertently.



What a dumb way to diet. To avoid finding yourself in this predicament, try finding something that really makes exercising an event to look forward to. Motivators like achieving goals, beating records, or getting to watch the cute guy across the gym heft weights around work for some people. Others like to pick a book they're excited to read, a movie they've been dying to watch, or a TV series they've been super into lately and restrict themselves to only continuing on to the next chapter or episode... if it's on the treadmill. Me? I watch 30 Rock or Fringe while I'm on the elliptical.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

rolling in the dough

News just in: the GRAND PRIZE has been announced! Due to some extreme generosity on the part of the Heiners, it is a whopping ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS ($1,000)! How's that for motivation?!

dumb ways to die(t) #2

#2 After you have finished a satisfying, nutritionally sound, last-of-your-calories-for-the-day meal, volunteer to clear the table so that you can eat leftover food from other people's plates or the serving dishes.  For an added bonus, clean the kitchen so that if anything was left from the preparation of the meal, you can snatch that too.

What a dumb way to diet.
Set specific achievable goals. Print and place your goals in all of the places you are likely to be tempted. Make a plan of escape for when temptation seems like it might get the best of you. Whether it is a 10 minute walk, a call to a buddy, or a bubble bath. Have a reasonable plan to revert to. If all else fails, own up to it, log the calories and do better tomorrow!


Sunday, June 23, 2013

dumb ways to die(t) #1


#1 You're hungry and your healthy lunch is taking a really long time to prepare, so you eat a regular lunch in the mean time.

What a dumb way to diet. To avoid finding yourself in this predicament, try setting aside some time once a week to pre-make lunches and snacks for the rest of the week.

and we're under weigh! (itsa pun)

By now you should (hopefully) have submitted your weight and the conditions of your weigh-in to Camille. We're only posting percentages and standings, so we won't have any numbers to post until next Sunday. But we will be posting tips and motivational things, so check in occasionally!
By now you should also have accepted your invitation to be a blog author. As always... we'd love to see some smack talk going on. :) Or you can post your own tips and tricks or links to useful workouts, articles, recipes, etc. (You can subscribe to the blog's RSS to make following new posts a little easier, too!)
Oh, and be sure you're working on getting your $40 entry fee to Camille, also!

So everyone knows and diets accordingly, this week's Littlest Loser Punishment is to do three (or more if you're into that) Richard Simmons workouts. On the workout floor, sweatin' it up with Richard is "the most magical place in the world." But if you'd rather stick to Tony or Jillian, you best get your bootie into gear and your appetite under control! Good luck, ya losers!

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Ready, Set, Die(t)!

Hey fatties. Time to get your skinny on! Here's the low down:

-first weigh-in is Sunday, June 22nd (report to Camille)
-$40 entrance fee due to Camille by Sunday, June 30th
-weekly prizes for the Biggest Loser
-weekly punishment for the Littlest Loser and a buddy of their choice (Biggest Loser of the week is ineligible as buddy choice)
-competition will last 8 weeks... ending Sunday, August 18th 

To make sure you can add your own posts to the blog, please respond to the email Blogger sends you about it!

Nikki will be sending emails and texts to the group. If you're not getting them, acquire her cell number and shoot her a text!

Thursday, June 20, 2013

How will you die(t)?

Now's the time to ask yourself... "How do I want to die? In a normal, healthy way? Or in a really dumb way?" 

A parallel and equally important question is: How do I want to diet?

There are a lot of dumb ways to diet, and in this latest version of The Biggest Loser we're going to help each other do it right, so that we can all achieve optimum results and die healthily! And also so there will be some REAL competition by the time the next competition "rolls" around... aka The Hunger Games.

Get ready-- you only have a couple days to pull yourself together and to down the last of the Oreos-- Dumb Ways to Die(t) begins Sunday, June 23rd!